Low confidence bad for interviews

by Apple2012 on 18 October 2012 16:52

Hi everyone,

I wanted to know if an employer has told you that you are to quiet/shy to get the job? I have had that a couple of times, but most of the time they just say that there is someone with more experience or I am not suitable but sometimes it feels like they are trying to find an excuse. Of course the more loud people are going to win people over, but I can't help being the way I am, I try not to worry about it becuase I am used to people saying that. I'm currently doing temp work at the moment, but that is patchy becuase it depends on demand, so sometimes I have days off and I live in a quiet area which doesn't help! I have had a couple of short term jobs after leaving uni, even so I am finding it had to get - unpaid - internships to gain my confidence and my experience with. Even if I get to an interview they say there is someone else with more motivation, even if I do want it!! Argh, anyway i'm going to start local volunteering. There must be other shy graduates with this problem?

Thanks for reading,

by Paul on 19 October 2012 13:19

Hi,

I can relate to this. I am naturally a quiet/introvert person, but I wouldn't say I'm shy personally, I'll quiet happily start up a conversation with a stranger/ appraoch someone but I have been to job interviews where they said that I come across as too shy or timid. I agree that it is sometimes easier for people with more outgoing or dominant personalities to shine, especially in things like assessment centres where you are all competing against each other. I have read books on how to improve confidence in interviews and they all say the same kinda thing - firm handshake, keep good posture, maintain eye contact etc. One piece of advice that an interviewer gave me was don't be afraid to really sell yourself; tell them that you have brilliant Excel skills, that you are great working in a team, that you are highly organised etc. I have always been a bit reluctant in the past because I didn't want to come across as arrogant, but recently I have tried to sell myself more and I have found that this has gone done well in interviews. Similarly if you really want the job then tell them that, then hopefully they will see your enthusiasm.

by Apple2012 on 04 April 2013 13:16

Thanks for your reply, I have had a couple of interviews recently where they said that they liked me as a person, but said that I need to be more confident or that I am too shy. I have even had interviews for internships which are unpaid who have said the same thing, even though I did show interest. I am now relying on volunteering in the community, they tend to be less fussy than the coveted 'internships' which I have wanted so much. I understand that employers can and want to choose the best people (obviously!), it's just very hard when people say to me that I just need to be more enthusiastic to get the job. I know that there are other people out there with the same problem, it's a troubling time for people and the economy does not help. I have only ever passed one interview and that was a bit of being in the right place at the right time.

by Green Magic on 05 April 2013 10:08

I know where you're coming from - I've been told that I interview very well but I'm never chosen for the job. In the feedback it comes down to very minor details such as making marginally less eye-contact than other candidates, even though I make a conscious effort to make plenty. There is some truth in highly confident people being more likely to succeed in interviews, but then again the state of the job market means that there may be dozens of candidates all equally capable of the role and so the criteria shifts, blowing things like level of eye contact out of proportion.
Some employers will make excuses. What they're not supposed to do according to employment law is to tell you that your skills and experience are weaker than other candidates' whilst actually discriminating on the basis of something else. In my case most often this has been location.
I definitely agree that employers should be honest in their feedback - we'd rather hear that we weren't selected because we were too quiet than to spend hours needlessly pouring over our CVs, wondering why our grades are failing to impress or if we might need to do further unpaid work in order to broaden our abysmal experience!

by Andrew Williams on 01 July 2014 19:51

I have experienced a fair number of job interviews. I have never enjoyed them, but I used to be terrified of them. My first few job interviews after leaving university were utter disasters. I’m a lot better at them now.

Low confidence was a big problem for me. I suffered terribly with nerves, I started gibbering nonsense when asked awkward questions and I had no idea what I was doing. I didn't realise what an interview actually was - it's not about answering questions and proving you're qualified. They know you're qualified already (from your application).

It's a sales pitch. You're not getting the job because you aren't selling yourself well enough. It's about enthusiasm and personality. It's about showing them you're a great person, you like them and their company and you really do want to work there (not just "I need the money").

I wrote a blog entry about it: http://freedom-muse.com/2014/05/19/how-to-excel-in-job-interviews/
(Moderators, if this breaches any rules, I won't be offended if you redact it).

by Floss on 08 July 2014 11:35

I don't think I've ever been told that, but then I haven't had that many interviews. Most jobs I applied to that I wanted I didn't usually get them only worked in certain industries so didn't get as far as many formal face to face interviews. I've only had about 3 formal interviews my whole job career even though my work experience exceeds 5 years in different jobs. Some domestic jobs and private businesses here and there. This leaves me less confident than someone who has more experience in the fields that I apply for which are mainly customer focused. My problem at the moment is that I don't know what these employers are looking for. Given that I don't have enough work experience in any of the fields I am going for as a graduate. I studied aviation management, which is specialist but also branches off to tourism, logistics, business and airport jobs in general. I currently volunteer at an airport and mention this in applications and CV thinking it might make a difference to airport applications but not really...lol. I've been told to lie on my CV, or answer questions a certain way even on asda applications for instance when I was seeking part time employment. I've got as far as phone interview for travel consultant and got a bit stuck cos they were asking me questions like why I applied to that branch and not others and what experience I felt I could bring to the job which are all general. They didn't sound as impressed on the phone as they did with my application. I should have been looking at my application probably cos that's where all the "selling myself " was well written. Maybe I need more training with pretending to know everything and being cocky lol. Sometimes I worry about how I'll do if I actually got the job and if I'd stay for long or get on with the others cos am pretty introverted too and also some nervousness and anxiety but employers are not going to sympathize with you and listen to your life story sadly. You're right they will more likely go for someone that"acted enthusiastic" or even made stuff up even if they're work actually spoke for it or not.It's not your fault if you feel that way just keep persisting and maybe watch some self help videos or go to some classes that help with confidence and self assertiveness. If you're qualified it will more than likely show through.Let's all keep persisting!

by H on 09 July 2014 09:23

With regards confidence in interviews, to be honest it just comes with practice. I am graduating from a slightly newer university next week, with a high 2:1 (2% off a 1st class) in Finance & Accounting. Been looking for a job since finishing in May. Just had 2 interviews yesterday, hopefully will get at least 1 offer from that, but just have to see.

I am often softly spoken, quiet & often shy, but as an accountant soon, being introverted isn't a big problem. In the 1st interview yesterday morning, I turned up early as always, then they kept me waiting 10 minutes, which annoyed me. Because of this, I decided I didn't care what they thought of me, I was going to let my qualifications and experience speak for itself. I told them about my skills and experience, & they seemed happy with that.

I was so annoyed about being kept waiting that it gave me more confidence which hopefully came across, it rarely does usually. At university I asked my lecturers for advice on how to tackle interviews, and I got these interviews through an agency. Unusually the agency was very good, they sent me an interview pack, on how to tackle certain types of questions, which also helped my confidence. Ultimately, the skills you have are important, and they need to be emphasised. You will probably have skills which you don't realise anyway, and you need to look hard and make sure that you sell yourself in the interview, but in order to do that, you need to be fully aware of what skills you have, and how well these match to what the company is looking for.

The most important point though, is never give up. Since finishing university I've had probably 12 interviews, and haven't had even 1 offer yet, but I'm still trying every day, & I refuse to give up. I also had at least 3 or 4 interviews while I was at university, and am still looking. Hopefully I will get 1 of the 2 from yesterday, 1 said they would make a decision today, the other by the end of this week, so here's hoping. Don't give up though, the more interviews you do, the easier it gets. I had 3 last week, & the 2 yesterday I found easier. There are only so many questions they can ask, just practice questions, ask family or friends to interview you so they can give you feedback on how well you are coming across, etc. It all helps in the end.

by Jonny on 10 July 2014 11:11

I always think that you have to be a different person in interviews. I'm normally very shy, quiet and generally keep myself to myself but whenever I've had interviews in the past I just play the role of someone else.

I make myself become a hire-able person - it's all an act really.

by Stephen on 10 July 2014 11:17

I'm totally the same. Interviews are always quite intimidating and the nerves often get to me, but I've found the best way to deal with this is to try and stay calm and some how relax.

It is tricky, but if you remember that you wouldn't be at an interview if they didn't think you were potentially good enough for the job, it gives you a bit more confidence and can help you get your points across easier.

by Apple2012 on 10 July 2014 16:46

Thank you to everyone who replied. Since my last post, I managed to get a new job and I have been there for about a year. It is nothing like one of the graduate jobs that you see on this website, but better than other jobs out there! I got through the interview because it is slightly related to some short term jobs that I had before, so I had lots of examples to give, and also the hours are pretty bad and some people would not do them.

I think that a lot of it is to do with experience, practice in interviews and a bit of luck. This job has improved my confidence a lot and I have learnt lots about working with people, however I am now getting bored and I am seriously considering volunteering abroad because I still need to improve my self confidence and get more experience.

It feels like is so hard to get more experience after university, unless you spend years moving up a company, or do unpaid internships - but my experience of them wasn't good. It is really important to know what you like doing and what you are interested in, and everyone has a different life story so you shouldn't compare people too easily, and I think that employers shouldn't fit people into boxes too quickly either.

by Millymollymandy on 16 July 2014 23:00

Hi,

I am also a naturally shy and introverted person. I've managed to get myself a graduate job in a small company, after several failed interviews. Before the interview I was friendly and kept up correspondence, and in the interview, I pretended to be more extrovert and confident than I am - and it worked. Really, you'll get to an interview one day where the employers just like you, shy or not. Just keep looking for experience and you'll end up with loads to talk about. Not every company wants a shouty person who can't listen.
Also try reading 'Quiet', a book about introverts in an extrovert world, by Susan Cain. She's also done a TED talk which you'll find on YouTube. Food for thought :-)

by Chloe on 23 December 2014 16:11

Hi guys,

As for me one of the most importent way that will help you to stay confident during th ejob interview is focusing on the positives

We tend to focus our energies on the negative things that happen to us. Despite buckets full of positive experiences, it only takes one or two nasty comments to knock someone off their horse. In fact, meanness is at the root of all confidence issues. Being laughed at when you make a mistake, being harshly rejected by someone you like, or being taunted on a schoolyard all play a part in a person’s self-confidence. To overcome negative experiences in life, focus on positive ones. Most people can count only a few really bad experiences in life, while positive ones are abundant.

Even better, extend this positivity to others. We have the ability to give the gift of confidence to everyone we meet by being constructive and kind in all our interactions. I encourage you to be a champion of confidence for others. It not only feels good and helps others, but gives you greater confidence as well.